Second Chances?

I’ve been walking with God for three years now. I have felt his grace and mercy in my life and I am so thankful for it. He has been faithful and will never forsake me. Of course, He knew everything that would happen before I was even born, I just needed to take that first step of faith in him. You may be asking yourself why I’m saying this…

Well, God has taken me through – and is still taking me through – a lot of hard, emotional situations since June. I’ve cried, I’ve screamed, I’ve gotten sad, I’ve gotten mad. After all of that, I prayed. I’m still praying about every situation I am still dealing with.

Earlier this month, I wrote about my vow to God. You can read about it here. I’ve been tested ever since I made my vow in April. Of course, I never thought it would be easy when I made a commitment like this. That would be naive of me. Two of the tests that I faced involved young men – SP & SE – that came into my life. I’ve come to realize why SP stopped talking to me in a very abrupt way.

Last night I found out why…. He didn’t want to be the reason why I broke my vow. He has such a heart for God and he wanted to make sure that I followed through with it. Deuteronomy 23:21 says,

When thou shalt vow a vow unto the LORD thy God, thou shalt not slack to pay it: for the LORD thy God will surely require it of thee; and it would be sin in thee.

When I heard that he said that, I felt relief but I also felt sadness. I was glad that SP respected that I had set myself apart for God and my husband but I was saddened by the fact that he couldn’t just communicate that to me. I wished he could have just talked to me instead of pushing me away. It makes me wonder if this means there is a chance for us to be friends. I hope for it because I feel like although SP was doing something to help me by not being a “temptation”, if you will, by walking away, I also feel like maybe it was premature….

Only time will tell…

Jen

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