Run Baby Run

I’ve been calling you to go to the city
I’ve been watching you every day
Now I’m paying for a one way ticket
for a ship that sails the opposite way

And you laugh and you cry
and you live and you die
cause you don’t really know who you are
All alone in this world
orphan boy orphan girl
cause you don’t really know who you are

Run baby run
my hands release you
baby run baby run just as fast as you can
Run till your legs lead your heart to the real truth
You’re my daughter my son
so run baby run baby run

Hear me laughing as you run from your calling

See me crying see me crying in the storms that rage
One way or another you will be going
To obey is such an easier way

So finally after months of hearing my friends talk about Jason Upton’s CD, “Dying Star” (ok, yes, I know it was recorded in 2002 but I just got wind of Jason Upton over the summer so work with me :D), I finally got a copy of it. Amazing! Part of the reason why I wanted to get a copy was because my roommate, H, who is a worship leader at my church, has been singing parts of the song for the last couple of months and I just wanted to hear the whole thing.

When I hear it, it makes me thing of my friend, S. Some days I feel like he is just running away from what God called him to be. (Some days I feel like running away because it seems too hard but I know that it would be harder for me out in the world knowing what I know if I walk away now.) I have constantly been praying for him.

There’s a story behind it all. S and I have known each other since we were 15. We met when he was “dating” my best friend, D, in high school. Although it didn’t work out between them, S and I stayed friends. Over the last 11 years we’ve lost contact but always found each other again. I think the longest we went without speaking was 2 1/2 years. Sometimes it was because of a misunderstanding or, like most of the time, it was because we were walking different paths that just took us away from each other.

Back in the summer of 2005, I was struggling with a lot of stuff left over from my break up a year and a half earlier. I was going through just a lot of stuff. I was looking for something that I couldn’t find in man. I was raised Catholic but always knew there had to be more to God than just what we did every Sunday during Mass. I decided to go back to my old Catholic church in Chicopee. I went to service every Sunday for a month but no one spoke to me, not even the priest, and I just wasn’t getting anything out of the sermons.

At that time, I was hanging out and talking to Sean again and I knew that he was going to church with his parents so I asked where they went. It took me a couple of weeks after he told me, but I eventually went… and the rest is history. That first Sunday I went, I found out that one of my friends from elementary school went there. Everyone was welcoming and friendly. It felt like home from the moment I walked through the doors. That was three years ago this past October. I was baptized that December along with S and 3 other people (5 total, the number of grace).

Our lives, mine and S’s, are connected somehow. I’ve tried to figure it out but I can’t. I pray for him every day… God knows that all I really want is to see S in a local church and serving God. There is just so much more to this life than what we see in the natural and I just hope he is learning that.

Like I’ve said before, this life is just a vapor. I just don’t want to spend my life with regrets or “what if’s.” I want everything that God has in store for me. I’m walking this path the best I can with the knowledge I’ve been given and I’ll keep walking it until and when Jesus comes back.

Please pray for me and my friend. Pray for his soul and strength for me that I know when to let go if it comes to that.

Jen

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