I’m not sure where I want to start. For the last few months I’ve been trying to figure out what I want this blog to be about… At first, I wanted it to be about my walk as a Christian woman and my stance on certain issues, etc. But… then I became really busy with school and preparing for China and then, after going to China and coming back and moving back in with my parents, I just felt different. Sort of disconnected from everything.
I still do feel somewhat disconnected at times. Don’t get me wrong, I did some changing after being in another country, even for as short of a time as I was there. And, It’s not like life just stopped here while I was gone. I didn’t expected it to but I guess I was just expecting or hoping, anyway, that I could come back and fall right back into the same niche I was in before I left.
But it no longer fit. It still doesn’t fit. I’m trying to discern where I fit now…
Here’s what I do believe about where I’m headed:
- I believe that God has a plan for my life that includes going to law school. And because of that, I am taking the Law School Admissions Test (LSAT) at the end of September.
- Although I wish I wasn’t single, God has a reason for it. And I know and believe that He has my best interest at heart. I’m learning to be ok with the idea that I may never be married and it’s an everyday lesson.
That’s not much but, it’s a start. I’m learning how to pray and talk to God to discern what He is saying about the path I’m on. I don’t want to do anything with my life that He hasn’t already had planned. With that, I’m trying to not be so distant with my friends although I’m not sure where I fit in with our large group of friends anymore. I almost feel like I’m on the outskirts… Part of that has to do with the fact that in the last year there have been five couples within our group of friends who have gotten married and one of them is pregnant. Please don’t get me wrong, I am happy for each and every one of them. However, last week when I found out about the couple who is pregnant, my second reaction (after being completely happy for them) was to ask When will it be me?
So, that’s where I’m at, at this stage. Right now, I’m going to go read and pray before going to bed.