Ahh… February… Valentine’s Day… All this love and talk of love stories…
My love story is different. It began before time but we have yet to meet. Like I mentioned in my post on praying for my husband, I love a man I’ve never met. Two, really. Jesus and my husband.
I didn’t always love them. I wasn’t always sure – I didn’t always believe – that I was deserving or worthy of the love of Jesus or a godly man who follows Jesus. I’ve done things in the past that I believed deemed me that way.
It wasn’t until I allowed Jesus into my life that I began to believe it.
He made a promise to me that He would not leave me lonely or alone, that He has a plan for my life, a husband set apart for me. (Me? Really? Are you sure God? His answer: Trust me. I know what I’m doing.)
Since then, I’ve waited. I’ve prayed. I’ve been disappointed, which turned in to bitterness. As I saw some of my closest friends fall in love and get married in the last few years, I began to allow myself to listen to the voice that told me (and I allowed myself to believe it) that I wasn’t worthy of the love of another. I allowed the depression that used to engulf me take over again.
That is, until about a month ago.
When my Pastor came to me and told me he had seen the disappointment. God saw my disappointment, too. And through the voice of two other pastors I know, who I call friends, He has not forgotten me.
I’ve been so concerned with my own perspective – how I see my situation – and I haven’t even asked God what His plan is. As my friend, Pastor Steve, said, “You have an assignment to complete.” (He didn’t go into much more detail. I have to ask God about that myself.")
In all of this, though, my love of my husband has not changed. It’s still there. God is working in both of us so that when we meet, when God has predestined for us to meet, we will be as ready as we can be.
Until then, I will continue to pray for him and for myself. I will seek God on where He needs me. I will still be overjoyed for my friends who are getting married in October, December and sometime next year. I am sooo excited for my two little ‘nieces’ who are joining us in May. And if you could, pray for me as well. I believe God is going to be changing a lot in my life this year. I will need the covering of the Body as I listen for His prompting.