Over the summer, I became acquainted with the music of Ginny Owens thanks to Pandora. Specifically her song, “If You Want Me To.” It absolutely knocked my socks off for no other reason but the lyrics.
Ginny’s story is pretty cool. Here’s the really short version: As a young child she lost her sight because of an infection (I believe it was some sort of infection). She grew up to learn to play the piano and singing though. She then went to college to teach music. When she went out to look for a job after college, she was turned down at very interview for the fact that the schools did not want to hire a blind music teacher. There is a really good story about how she became a recording artist but I can not remember it at the moment. Anyway, it was during this time when she was continually getting rejected from these schools that this song was written.
My favorite lines from the song are the chorus:
Cause I’m not who I was
When I took my first step
And I’m clinging to the promise You’re not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will walk through the fire
If You want me to
Um, hello! She was reading my mail on that one let me tell you.
Because I really am not the same person I was back in October 2005 when I began this journey of following God. This walk, this people that God has placed me with are the only things that have remained the same in the last 5 years (with the exception of my family but even that has changed to an extent). I’ve changed jobs twice. I’ve started and finished school. I’ve gone halfway around the world (literally) and back. I’ve even had three different cars in the past 5 years!
But it’s only been 5 short years. I know God has so much more in store for me. I’ve been through my share of trials and struggles because my human mind and heart put limits to how I wanted God to fulfill His promises to me. Promises of a husband, a family, of being able to small yet great things to further His Kingdom.
All of these struggles and trials bring me to a place where a realize that I need God. I need to have my own relationship with Him. Not that I didn’t think I already had one but I cultivate that relationship. To desire to spend time with Him in the Word and in prayer.
So I am starting a new season of my life where I am being intentional about seeking Him out. I’m seeking to deepen my friendships with other believers who will encourage me and keep me accountable for being in the Word and in prayer.